When was the last time you caught yourself short of breath from frustration, anger, or resentment in a conversation with your man?
Chances are, with the Covid-19 related lock-down, your emotions run faster than usual. Given that you spend more time with your family members than ever before, there is just more ground for misunderstandings, for old and unresolved issues to come up, for the daily routine to shatter and thus disrupt the usual way of operations. We might discover the (somewhat upsetting?) features of our loved one’s character that we never noticed before. All of this can lead to daily explosions.
Let’s step back a little and look at who we actually are, and how we are different.
Are Women More Sensitive Than Men?
Did you know that a woman is six times more receptive and feels everything six to nine times deeper than a man?
Women think a lot more about everything, they need to talk all details over, they tend to think for other members of the family, friends and colleagues, in an attempt to understand the reasons behind people’s actions (which is by the way not a very healthy way of dealing with issues!) Women want lives to be smooth sailing and often on her terms.
Men are usually much less demanding, and function along two vectors: hungry vs well-fed, and tired vs rested. So men’s reactions will be defined by his location within each of these two vectors. Beyond that, men are more ascetic then women and do not need as much comfort, variety of entertainment, and so on.
To pass the time, a woman would want to renovate the entire house according to feng-shui, to decorate it in the latest trends, invite friends for a special dinner with a theme, or make everybody dressed up and made up for a simple walk in the park… And if ever a friend calls, she would chat all day with her about everything and anything.
On the contrary, a man would just simply sit in front of the TV (in a room furnished with just a sofa and a TV set…) or go fishing all day. He does not need much interaction, he does not need any embellishments. If ever a man does care for any of this, it is mostly to please his wife.
This should give you a glimpse of understanding of why men act differently from women.
So, when the discussion with your man heats up, how should you diffuse it?
Three Pro Tips To Handle Strong Negative Emotions
Here are a few tips for you to keep your family harmonious and happy.
- Know the difference between reaction vs response. When in a difficult conversation, allow yourself a few seconds to breathe in, breathe out, and swallow your instantaneous reaction. Then, gather your thoughts and respond like a loving wife who knows how to handle the situation 🙂 Show your insightfulness and care.
- If you feel you have bottled up too much, do not invite your husband for a conversation to set the dots over the i’s. Men do not like such talks, so allude to them as a last resort. Better, think carefully about how you could chat with your closest girlfriend about your problem in a way that does not compromise your family member’s image in your friend’s eyes. A good old friend will always hear you out, and – only if you ask – will share her experience or advice on how to solve similar situations. She will make you laugh, feel worthy, and loved. And in the meantime, you will find a smooth, light-hearted way out of a difficult shizzle you found yourself with your man in.
- In case you are really facing an emotional meltdown, there is one amazing and very simple women-only safe emotional release practice you could adopt. It will require some old dishes which you planned to throw away, and an isolated room. When the going gets tough, all you need to do is find a moment to isolate yourself in your bathroom or in a storage room or somewhere else where it is safe and you can close the door behind you. Make sure no one can see or hear you – you don’t want to shock anyone, right? Take your dishes one by one, and SMASH them on the floor (or walls if that is an option!) while shouting out exactly what made you so frustrated. Scream, shout, and BREAK those dishes! This unusual and very effective practice will help you release your negative emotions in no time. It can provoke tears or hysterical laughter – both are vehicle for the emotional release. So it is all good 🙂 After that, you can calm down, have some fresh air, buy yourself some roses (or other flowers of preference), get yourself your favourite cup of tea, and think of how you could respond to your family member in an emotionally intelligent, kind and insightful manner.
Remember: every action leads to a reaction. If you respond to a raised voice with shouting, this dialogue will not be much different from two dogs barking at each other.
However, if you let your man express himself, and not connect to his words emotionally, but rather try to understand the reasons behind his words, and then find an intelligent and loving way to respond, magic will happen. He will for sure be surprised at how well-composed and intelligent his wife is.
Is that not worth living? 😉